All I Wanna Do Is Pew Pew Pew Pew: Guns and GIFS

Several times now I've started and then stopped writing a post about the big issue of the day: Football stars' fake girlfriends guns. But I've held off for a few reasons. One, I don't really have any solutions to offer, just the same observations and complains made by others more eloquently elsewhere. Two, the thoughts that I do have are somewhat muddled and incomplete. So instead of a reasoned, intelligent series of arguments, I decided to fall back on every blogger's favorite pageview magnet: GIFS! Here, then, are my reactions to some of the most common arguments I keep hearing in the gun debate. For best results, wait a minute for everything to load.

Americans have constitutional rights to firearms

Guns and violence have always been a significant part of American heritage.

Most gun owners are not violent.

Terms like "assault rifle" are imprecise and often meaningless.

All of the above means any talk of gun control should be automatically off the table.

We need more guns to protect us from rising crime rates.

We need guns to protect of from our tyrannical government.

Gun violence is a "demographic problem."

Arming teachers and other civilians is the best way to resolve gun violence.

Everyday gun violence and rampage shooting sprees are not necessarily the same thing and may require different solutions.

We need better systems of identification and long-term treatment of mental illness, backed by universal healthcare.

Gun enthusiasts (not necessarily run-of-the-mill gun owners, but many hardcore right-wingers and lobbyists such as the NRA) are the worst offenders because they resort to over-the-top rhetoric, dishonest history, and delusional apocalyptic thinking and they prevent meaningful discourse by refusing to acknowledge any link between gun violence, widespread availability of firearms, and political positions that do not address root causes of violence in a meaningful way.

(err, that one might have just been me...)

And finally,

Democrats/Obama/anybody at all wants to take your guns away.

Agree? Disagree? All responses should be phrased in the form of a GIF.